No, this month I am not doing a “November Goals” post, because I’ve got something bigger up my sleeves.
Resolutions. They’re not just for the New Year, folks!
These past few weeks have been difficult for me, as dedicated readers of my blog can tell by my recent posts, and also my lack of posts. I came to the conclusion that there is no point in setting monthly goals if I won’t accomplish them, due to other issues going on in my life. This whole time, I was forgetting the bigger picture.
Another realization I had was actually thanks to a random Facebook comment. A girl I am friends with on Facebook made a post about how time-consuming kids must be. A lady with kids commented and said jokingly something along the lines of “I have kids and still manage to have enough time for things, I can’t imagine how people without them don’t have enough time- unless they’re just bored.”
Could it really be that simple?
Lately, I have been consumed by this feeling of “I don’t have enough time”- when in reality, when I look at my schedule, I really do have the time. A ton of it actually. I work about 20-25 hours a week, I have class Monday through Thursday, and I am off of class and work on Friday’s. So why is it that I have this overwhelming idea in my head that I can’t accomplish everything I want to?
Maybe it’s because I am bored.
That raises the question… why would I be bored? Isn’t there so much stuff I am trying to do, trying to accomplish? Isn’t the problem that my to-do list is never ending? It reminds me of a quote from the show Louie (an amazing show, if you’ve never watched it- it’s hilarious and also thought provoking and Louis CK is a genius).
The fact that my ‘solution’ seems to raise more questions is what has led me to this point. This strange paradox I am living in has made me realize maybe there are bigger things I need to fix. This is where my Resolutions come into play. As with your typical New Year’s Resolutions, these are meant to be ongoing things to accomplish or keep in mind.
- Don’t forget to keep trying things.
This is something I am very, very guilty of not doing. I like to blame it on my anxiety and perfectionism. However, I recently read The Gifts of Imperfections by Brene Brown (review to come soon) and that book taught me a lot about letting go, and being okay with who you are, no matter who you happen to be, and regardless of your accomplishments or lack there of. That long list of things I want to do, or try, or finish? Well, I don’t half of that stuff because it’s easier to not try than to try and fail and then feel bad about it. It’s useless to complain about not doing anything, or not being good at anything, if I don’t even try anything out to begin with.
- Be gentle on yourself.
Sometimes, you need to take a step back and take a deep breath. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to be a little more fragile than other people. What is not okay is comparing yourself to others, or creating exceedingly high expectations for yourself in your head. There is a fine line between wanting to give your best, and pushing yourself to go beyond your capabilities. The small difference is not bringing yourself down if you fail- as long as you try, and give it your all, then remember: you’re doing fine, Cara.
- Take things one-step at a time.
It is so easy for me to sit in bed thinking about everything I have to do before tomorrow, or everything I wan to do before I die, or everything everyone else wants me to do to be a success- and wow, just typing that out made me feel exhausted. Imagine the torturous process I go through every time I ruminate on all of that! It’s safe to say I probably overwhelm myself most of the times by freaking out over my long to-do lists. If I just make it a point to break things down, and take everything one day at a time, it will be so much easier to reach my goals.
- Make sure to take time to be creative.
Whether it’s blogging about something fun, writing in general, coloring, crafts, cooking, DIY projects, etc. I want to make a point to be more actively creative. Creativity has been shown to be so good for emotional and mental health, and beneficial to all- even you STEM types. I also like to think of myself as a creative person, and stretching those muscles will only help to better that in myself.
- Try and adopt healthy habits over time.
Things like having a morning routine, daily meditation, regular exercise, getting out of bed and staying out of bed, having a wonderfully healthy diet (and not eating ice cream almost every day… oops), and journaling, among many other habits, can have an incredible impact on your happiness. In the past, I have tried adopting multiple new habits at once, and of course, I would fail and they wouldn’t stick. I would like to try slowly incorporating things and building up on them and finding which habits work best for me until I am at the place where I want to be.
I am ready to start taking active steps towards improving myself, instead of just talking about it. Sometimes, blogging about my goals is almost a crutch instead of an accountability thing. I focus too much energy into writing about these things, and researching how other people have conquered their issues, and that leaves little energy left for me to actually do all that stuff. This kinda goes along with my first resolution. It’s easier for me to escape responsibility by just researching about what I am trying to change instead of actually changing it- you can’t fail at researching!
This time I am serious, though. The point of this blog is document my journey to being the me I want to be, so it’s about time I got back to my roots.